A Mystical Rosebud: For Sinners and Saints

      Most Catholics who read my blog will recognize the title, "Mystical Rosebud" as a reference to Mary. One of her venerable titles is the "Mystical Rose". I will be honest... I was not entirely sure what this title meant when I created my blog, but I have since done my due diligence to become educated about its significance. Rather than attempt to explain it all myself, I will share some of the more poignant pieces that I read (link here for full article) and then explain why I chose this title for my blog.

"Mary is the immaculate virgin and mother, mother of God, and of all mankind. She is the most noble and perfect of all mothers. Like a magnificent rose she shines in the splendor of her virtues, and is the perfect example for all mothers. Because her heart is fired with love for God and man, she is...likened to the flaming red rose."

 "The rose obtains its life through the stem, to which it is closely united. A rose broken from the stem will soon wither. So Mary received all her graces from Jesus, with whom she was united throughout he liveliest faith and ardent love."

St. Brigid's words stand out to me more than anything:

"The Virgin may suitably be called a blooming rose. Just as the gentle rose is placed among thorns, So this gentle Virgin was surrounded by sorrow."

By naming my blog "A Mystical Rosebud", there are several things I wish to convey to my readership.

First of all, I want people to realize that I - and everyone else for that matter - are on a journey while on this earth. All of us are meant to participate in the glory of God. That is what we were ultimately created for: to choose goodness and Love for ourselves and all individuals we encounter.

My state in life as a married woman is God's way of helping me learn how to love properly. In marriage, there are endless ways for me to improve my love and self-sacrifice for my husband. By learning to die to self out of love for him, I am both serving my husband and my Lord, as well as increasing my own spiritual growth. The Blessed Mother Mary is my greatest advocate and role model. She was without sin, and her "fiat" (her "be it done", her "yes") brought life and redemption to the world through her son Jesus.

In a similar way, married people can bring life to the world when they serve as conduits of the love of God in service to one another and their children. My goal is to become better and better at saying yes to God as best I can, like Mary did.

This relevant passage (from the previously linked article) helps illustrate my point:

(Bouquet from my own wedding)

"The open, blooming rose is an emblem of pure motherhood. Like the opened radiant rose the Christian mother is in the full vigor of life; her heart open with true love for her husband and children; and she unfolds her soul to heaven, so that through prayer she may receive the needed assistance for herself and hers. Through her good example in Christian virtues she spreads around her the fragrance of a God-pleasing life, and encourages those who associate with her to imitate her virtues."

   By using the article "A" in the title, I hope you are spurred to think about your own potential. I am not the only mystical rosebud. There are millions of people in this world who try their best to do good every single day. There are billions of saints in the making. You are one of them! You, yes you, are meant to have a personal relationship with the One, eternal unchanging God of Love. He is subtle. He will not force himself on you. You must open your heart to Him before change will happen in your life.

God has promised crowns of glory for those who follow him to the cross.

“What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard,

and what has not entered the human heart,

what God has prepared for those who love him,”

-1 Corinthians 2:9

With a bit of perseverance, we can become fully blossomed roses, in the name of Christ!

"Mystical" is a reminder of the spiritual side of life, the supernatural ("above nature") aspect of the human experience. Too often we find ourselves swept up in everyday life and it is difficult, if not impossible, to lift our gazes above the here-and-now to contemplate the eternal.

My blog is, for me, a way to develop my musings for my own spiritual growth. I've made it public because I recognize that perhaps others may benefit from the little gifts of insight that are inspired in me.

I am not so smart. I just try to be open to whatever it is that God wants me to understand. If truth benefits me, then surely I should share it so that it might benefit my readers too.

Let me tell you about a funny coincidence theme-thingy in my life (or for a better term, a "God-incidence", since I believe everything happens for a reason). 

The first church I attended after years of absence is a diocesan shrine to St. Thérèse of Lisieux. The church itself and the grounds which it is situated on are absolutely lovely - the hidden gem of the small town of Collinsville, Oklahoma. The place is fitting for the Saint of the Little Way. It is quiet and unassuming, yet beautiful and poetic just like St. Thérèse. This is ultimately the place I would like to be laid to rest.

During my formation in the faith, I found myself at this church almost daily. Even in the midst of going to school and work full time, I was never too overwhelmed or exhausted to find myself there on a weekday after a long shift as a certified nursing assistant. 

For all my love of St. Thérèse, I did not know anything about her apart from a few quotes. I had not yet read her autobiography, "Story of a Soul". And still, I know she interceded on my behalf.

I was supposed to be working only part time or PRN at the assisted living community. However, due to a shortage of staff I often found myself covering lots of shifts and even working overtime occasionally.

I asked God, "how can I make it through this?" I was exhausted and often angry, being called in to work at the last minute when I had a lot of homework or an exam to study for. Even so, I knew it was an opportunity for me to take up my cross. I was acutely aware of my own mortality and of the importance of daily choices. I prayed about how to handle my situation. I knew I could either let the devil take me down and harbor resentment while just ticking the boxes at work... Or I could offer up my suffering for the souls in purgatory or for some other intention that I felt needed prayer.

 I realized that I don't have to be the best in order to show the Love of God to the world. I don't have to go on mission trips, or be a nun, or anything extreme like that. I simply have to live according to the law of Love. Working as a CNA, I saw that the value of my job resided in its capacity to allow me to show that type of love to my under-appreciated elderly residents. A smile is enough for them! How lazy I am! But still, this is the work of Christ. 

No good deed is too small. Little did I know, St. Thérèse already came up with the "little way". 

She has undoubtedly been praying for me from her esteemed place in heaven! After all, she did say before she died that she would, "...spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses."

Another whisper from heaven came to me and my husband on our honeymoon.

We were travelling back to San Antonio from Six Flags and on the way we saw a sign that said "The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Little Flower". Having a devotion to St. Thérèse, of course it was a divergence we were more than willing to take. 

We were stunned at the beauty of the cathedral. It was so quiet and unassuming, but the interior was magnificent and awe-inspiring. 

To the left of the altar, in a side chapel, was a glorious memorial to St. Thérèse. I had seen pictures of it before - who would have guessed that we happened upon it!

Here is my own picture:

    

We prayed for awhile, and we were actually there in time for Mass! 

Afterwards, a nice man approached us and told us that they even had a relic of St. Thérèse that we could view. He insisted that if we each were to touch our wedding rings to her bone relic, that our marriage would be graced with many blessings. 

Therefore, we followed his suggestion by praying for the intercession of the Little Flower. We touched our rings to the relic and kissed it, thanking God for his great love.

Following that moving experience, we were also permitted to view an original painting, created by St. Thérèse's sister, Celine (Sr. Genevieve of the Holy Face). 

I have always interpreted that funny honeymoon happenstance to be a sign from beyond that I am being looked after, prayed for, and guided.

Right now I am only a rosebud. I trust, however, that the grace of Christ will help lead me to live a more holy life and one day, after I die I will be a Saint.

It's a bold claim in this age, but I believe that is due to the misconception that Saints were only made "back in the day". As if it is some sort of medieval honor that was granted only to people who would not burn (St. Lucy, St. Agnes, St. Lawrence) , or who levitated during prayer (St. Joseph of Cupertino, St. Gerard Majella, St. Gemma Galgani).

This is not the case. Saints are people who have died and entered heaven. There are more Saints than the Church could ever keep tabs on, because most people endure the cleansing fires of Purgatory before entering heaven, which means they were not perfect on earth but the mercy of Christ purified them after death. If you don't understand Purgatory or you're skeptical about it, I suggest you have a read through this article.

God can make Saints out of the worst sorts. St. Augustine comes to mind. "Grant me chastity and continence, but not yet" he famously stated in his Confessions.

Another "Blessed" (someone who is on the path to official Sainthood but not quite there yet) who comes to mind is Bl. Bartolo Longo. He was an Italian lawyer and former Satanic priest. His story is inspiring, his past and conversion not altogether very different from my own, and you can read a summary of it here.

I trust in the mercy of God to make Saints of anyone who does good deeds with Love, in the name of Christ.

Transgender Identity: From One Catholic's Perspective

Let me begin by stating categorically what this post is not meant to do. It is not meant to judge anyone.

*Only God is omniscient - only he knows people's hearts and true intentions, so only He can judge with genuine justice.
*It is not meant to damn or condemn (I'm certainly no saint myself).

What it is, however, is a series of observations regarding the transgender phenomenon from my own perspective, looking through the lenses of a somewhat objectively minded (albeit imperfect) B.A. "certified" anthropologist.


First I will explain what I think this phenomenon is all about.
Then I will briefly describe what I think Christians ought to consider doing to address these types of delicate transgender issues.

I do not have a vested interest to offend or hurt anyone... But I do have an obligation to speak the truth when I have reason to believe it will help even one single person. 

The transgender movement is getting a lot of attention these days. But what you don't see in the popular media very often is how many transgenders attempt suicide.
Bruce Jenner, now wanting to be recognized as Caitlyn Jenner, admitted to Diane Sawyer that he contemplated suicide, following a surgery to remove his adam's apple (link here). This may have made the news due to the Jenner's high profile status, but what about the countless others who suffer unnoticed?

According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, a survey conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality indicates that the the rate of suicide attempts among respondents is a staggering 41% (Haas, Rodgers, & Herman 2014:2). Compare that to the overall U.S. population rate of suicide attempts which is 4.6% (Haas, et al 2014:2).
You don't have to be very clever to realize that this is quite a significant difference. There is a high rate of suicide attempts among those who identify as transgender. What is the cause of this? Who can say? What matters is that there is clearly an underlying problem that is not being dealt with. The trans question goes deeper than many people realize.

The following is by no means perfect science or perfect doctrine, but is something I've picked up from various psychology and anthropology readings and classes.

The zeitgeist of our age espouses the philosophy that gender identity exists on a continuum rather than (as formerly believed) a binary concept. People often identify themselves as having varying levels of "female-ness" or "male-ness". For example, a girl who exhibits many traditionally "male" characteristics such as competitiveness, aggressiveness, or as being rather strong might identify as being more manly, or a "tomboy". On the flip side, males who exhibit womanly traits might consider themselves more effeminate.
What we need to remember is this: these characteristics are culturally defined - although they are generally consistent across cultures.
A woman can exhibit manly characteristics without identifying as a man and vice versa.
Western cultures - particularly the American culture - are not very hospitable to allowing the expression of this, however. How many men do you see going around in women's clothes because they like it, and yet still get to join his friends at the bar to watch football? You're right. It never happens. It's taboo.

Let me back up a second and extrapolate on what it means to be a man or a woman, in terms of physical sex.
Sex is genetically determined. Apart from exceedingly rare cases of true hermaphroditism, all people either have an XX (female) or XY (male) sex chromosome configuration. If you have XX you are genetically and physically a female (exhibited by eggs and accompanying hormones such as estrogen, etc), and if you are XY you are genetically and physically a male (exhibited by sperm and accompanying hormones such as high testosterone, etc).

It can be conceived that a woman might have higher male hormones which could make her subjectively feel more the way men supposedly feel. However that subjective feeling does not mean that she is a man because her sex chromosomes - particularly the way they are expressed in her reproductive organs - define her womanhood. The same goes for a man with high levels of estrogen. We are not given the ability to step outside of our bodies, look objectively at “male” essence and “female” essence and then pick one and say “that’s me”. Our perspective is always subjective.

In his book, When Harry Became Sally, Ryan Anderson states, “Our minds and senses function properly when they reveal reality to us and lead us to knowledge of truth. And we flourish as human beings when we embrace the truth and live in accordance with it. A person might find some subjective satisfaction in believing and living out a falsehood, but that person would not be objectively well off.”

Transgender people often claim they have always identified more with the opposite sex and "feel" more like the opposite sex than they were born. I pose this question (assuming the person is genetically male and intellectually honest):
1) Have you ever been a biological female, that is to say, have you ever had XX sex chromosomes?
-All males must say no, because science has not advanced so far as to allow people to change their sex chromosomes.
2) Then I would ask, if you have never been genetically female, how could you ever know what a genetic female feels subjectively?
-They cannot answer, because they have never been in that situation.
3) If you have never been a female, and you cannot know how a female feels subjectively, then how can you claim to identify that way?
-...

The tragedy is this: rather than believing the problem is with society, transgender people believe the problem is with themselves. That they have been "born in the wrong body". This is nonsense!
Just because you subjectively feel "effeminate" according to what society dictates does not mean your physiology is wrong.
Being a man and exhibiting traditionally womanly characteristics and liking dresses and high heels does not mean you're a woman inside. It means gender stereotypes are not binding.
I can conceive of a culture in which girls predominantly prefer the color blue and often take the leading role in relationships. I can conceive of a culture in which boys like the color pink and prefer to stay at home cleaning and looking after children.

What is sad is that, in seeking to realize their personal preferences, people who choose to label themselves transgender often do so in order to be accepted.
Unfortunately, it is not enough for them to declare, "I am a man, and I like to wear makeup and sing in the shower." To do so would emasculate them - which is perceived of as being worse in American culture than being transgender. Feminine men are ridiculed and shunned. Crying in public is absolutely forbidden, if you are a man. Transgenders, on the other hand, are increasingly praised and encouraged, especially by liberal universities, mainstream media, and social media platforms such as Twitter. It is easier to say "I was born in the wrong body!" because that makes outsiders more sympathetic than they would be towards someone who can control his or her own preferences and outward expression.

The high suicide attempt statistics among transgenders belies the fact that these people are hurting.
I realize that not all transgender people feel exactly the way I've described, but from my observations this is nonetheless an attitude that is quite prevalent within the transgender community.

Here's the main point I would like to make concerning how we ought to treat our dear, afflicted brothers and sisters. All transgender and transsexual people are beyond being thoroughly convinced of their plight. It is not a belief that they hold, but rather it is a conviction that touches the core of their personal identity. This is not something to be dealt with lightly. It is a matter of life and death for many of these people, who feel so beaten down by their existential distress.

Subjectively, they feel that "it's my life, I know what I feel like on the inside". I understand that mentality! I used to think I was bisexual. For years. I found women attractive, and I even dated a girl for several months at one point. On the outside, for all intents and purposes, I was bisexual. I felt fulfilled in my relationship with the other girl. It wasn't just a "phase", and I too was thoroughly offended by people who seemed to claim they knew me better than I knew myself!

Once I met my husband, however, I realized something. I had thought I was bisexual because my need for real, genuine love was so desperate that I was willing to accept it from anyone. In addition, I had allowed my own feelings and behaviors to define something that only God is the author of. He created my body in a particular way, and my selfish distortion of His plan was not sufficient to alter who I really am: a woman, made in His image, with the capacity to be a co-creator of immortal beings.

What is the responsibility of the Christian toward someone struggling with their sex/gender identity? Let's meet these people where they are. That is what Jesus did, while in the midst of a broken, confused world. Don't try to convince them they are wrong. No argument in the world will sway someone who thinks they were born the wrong sex. Not the ones I've discussed in this post, nor any of the others. Instead, we need to live our lives as an example. Treat them with love. Let them see how much joy there is in carrying our own personal crosses with Christ. All of us have crosses, and transgenders arguably have acutely heavy ones.

We ought to be reaching out where we can to help people realize that it's OKAY if you do not conform to gender stereotypes. It is OKAY to be a feminine man or a masculine woman!
But please do not go so far as to disparage your worth by thinking you are anything other than what God made you to be - a man or a woman in His image and likeness. We live in a broken world, where sin has distorted Truth and confused our senses. I can guarantee one thing, though: in heaven, you will be fully male or fully female - perfected in your glorified body, as God intends.

Transgender individuals are the same as you and I, and they deserve all of the respect, dignity, and love as anybody else.
To love, however, is not to allow people to persist in deleterious attitudes and practices. In most situations, when we encounter someone who identifies as transgender it will only be in passing. The best thing we can do in those situations is to simply treat them as we would any other fellow human being. That includes praying for them, that they might become who God fully intends them to be. Their dignity extends infinitely beyond their struggles with their gender identity, just like the dignity of anyone stretches beyond their particular faults and failings. Fundamentally, we are all children of God.

To love is to help walk someone out of destruction by caring for them as a friend and fellow human being. Allow people to seek refuge in your confidence and give them the courage to open up so they can take small steps towards discovering who they are really meant to be.